American law name: Sunshine, Happiness, and Rainbows Act
American law contents: There will be a $500 tax to look at a rainbow and the President is authorised to sell exclusive rights to sunshine at an auction to tech bros. Happiness is now a controlled substance and illegal possession of it without a prescription is now punishable by 30 years imprisonment. Also, strawberry ice cream is now banned, $50 million for a bridge in Indiana, and the salary of the Deputy Archivist is increased by 6% starting next fiscal year.
Please let me suck your orange cock harder, daddy Trump! As an additional kink: only the poor kids will have to face death from combat.
-Representative Randy Fine (R-Fla.)
Every day it feels like Republicans are trying to speed run to guillotines.
GASASUNSPAN?
I did the same thing wondering what pandering bullcrap does this bill spell out
Mexico just claimed Europa and will be colonizing it on paper as soon as the printer gets new paper. Oh I misspelled republicans.
Europa
ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE.
This dumb fucking ape is new to DC, after having been a MAGA terror in the Florida legislature for years. He just won some special election, maybe Matt Gaetz’ old seat.
He is all about slurping the butt of whatever MAGA is above him. In Florida, it was DeSantis, now it will be Trump. Expect lots of eye-rolling sycophantic behavior like this in the future.
Might as well just call this the “Notice me daddy” act.
Greenland is going to be a state now?
Did… anyone ask them…?
Of course not. Same reason why Puerto Rico isn’t a state. They’d vote blue
Oh no. Definitely not a state. Just a territory. The people there won’t get citizenship or anything.
So no taxation?
Maybe. Small consolation prize. Puerto Rico doesn’t pay federal income taxes, though they do get citizenship.
American Samoans don’t pay federal income taxes but they also don’t get citizenship.
Ask our etetnal adversaries?
We have always been at war with Greenland.
East-Asia is our ally.
when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.
Grab 'em by the Parliament
Yes. An overwhelming majority do not want to join the US.
Meanwhile, Puerto Rico and D.C.: “am I a joke to you?!”
Puerto Rico is brown people and DC is a majority black so like yes they are a joke to these people
Doesn’t Washington DC host the largest and longest running clown convention on the planet?
I guess that is one way to refer to congress
More polite than me, that’s for sure.
You laugh but clown conventions are a real thing. https://worldclown.com/2026-wca-convention/
Damn, looks like serious business there.
Don’t blame them one bit. USA has fallen soooooo far.
Surprising. Can’t imagine why.
If anything they’re going to be a territory or something like that. There’s no way they get two senators.
Right. Imagine these clowns accidentally adding 3 blue electoral college votes for no reason.
Because taxation without representation worked so well the first time around
Residents of US territories don’t pay federal income tax.
Papa rape ape is finna force greenland to make their own taliban
This is totally going to end well.
Totally.
Didn’t stop us with Hawaii
Hopefully we can learn from the mistakes of our past.
But it’s not looking good.
We never do
In 1898 they annexed Hawaii by a joint resolution of Congress, after some business goons and Marines overthrew the Queen of Hawaii in 1893 and a few years of negotiations. The Hawaiians by majority did not want to be annexed.
Greenland is a territory of Denmark, a member of NATO, and they also don’t want to be annexed so this is a bit different. Congress should vote to not go to war with NATO.
I’m curious which countries have wanted to be annexed.
Mongolia wanted to get annexed by the Soviet onion. Texas wanted to be annexed by the us
NGL, I kind of love this. It evokes the USSR, but in a really goofy and innocent way.
Please keep posting whatever else your brain cooks up.
I just DDG’d a meme reply to the parent commenter typoing “soviet onion,” LOL
The Republic of Texas? That’s probably it, though.
That’s a stupid ass name. Everything with these people is stupid. The only reason Trump is doing this is to get the USA out of NATO for Putin. The reason he works for Putin is because Putin has some very compromising pictures and videos of Trump, involving children and possibly pee
And he sucked bubbas D
<div class="tenor-gif-embed" data-postid="16155441" data-share-method="host" data-aspect-ratio="0.8" data-width="100%"><a href="https://tenor.com/view/to-war-saruman-lotr-lord-of-the-rings-gif-16155441">To War Saruman GIF</a>from <a href="https://tenor.com/search/to+war-gifs">To War GIFs</a></div> <script type="text/javascript" async src="https://tenor.com/embed.js"></script>Lol it’s the GAS act.
So if they’re going to be a state, do they realize that they would be a blue state by default? Like, they would make California look like a red state.
And the rebellion there would cause need for millitary action. Which they would lose. This would be like vietnam, except you just forced them to have legal rights within your own government.
They would never be a state. They’d be a territory. A colonial holding with no citizenship given automatically to the inhabitants.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a blue or a red state if there aren’t any more elections because they’ve been suspended because of war with, say, NATO.
Aaand of course the congressman submitting this is from Florida.
What the fuck! I was promised Canada would be the 51st state!
Greenland won’t be a state; they’ll be like Puerto Rico.
Who are the adversaries?
NATO. Lol.
