[two characters are arguing in a break room, coffee machine and all]
[teal, holding a coffee cup] Without mentioning avocado, explain to me what guacamole is
[purple, taken aback] Huh?!
[zoom on teal’s very smug face, the coffee steaming in front of them] I knew it You can’t Your guac ideology doesn’t work Heh Pft Owned
[purple looks blasé and has no words]


A creamy, fat rich, savory fruit paste traditionally served with Hispanic food. It serves to accent the seasoning of spicy dishes by balancing the heat to allow more of the complex flavors through. It’s also popularly consumed on its own as a dip. While some of these things can be accomplished by sour cream or humus, both have their own distinctive qualities that prevent them from being a 1:1 comparison.
“That savory fruit in your description? Nothing more than a direct stand in for the very avocado I told you couldn’t be used to form your description. You don’t get to genie your way out of your obvious inability to describe your precious ideology without making an appeal to an avocado by any other name.”
-Very smart Internet person
Truely I was a fool to challenge a redditor when pedantism is on the line.
I don’t want to explain guac without avocados
It’s so weird to me when I hear people describe avocados as fruit. Because they are clearly. But it just feels wrong to me and I don’t know why.
Nutty flavor, fatty texture. If someone called them a legume it’d still feel wrong, but less wrong.
Yes! This is it this is the one I’m most comfortable with so far.
If you’re at all from the US it may be due to use to us teaching that sweet things are fruit and not sweet things are vegetables.
That 90’s era food pyramid really fucked up a generation.
Ok, so there’s like 2…4…no more than like 10 or 12 exceptions to the rule.
No, see cuz you calling it a vegetable just sounds equally weird to me. They’re both weird. I don’t know why.
Alright, so avacados are the globs of meat dangling from some trees that they use to reproduce.
Is that sounding more natural to you?
I enjoy defining many fruits as edible tree spooge.
…I could have lived happily without that forbidden perspective of cursed knowledge.
Sigh… Now I have to use it to torture my friends.
Do you suppose the fact that they’re green and savory, instead of sweet has anything to do with it?
Do you want to take this inside, guac boy?
Ideally yes, it’s cold in these parts and I’m not fond of pants.
Is there chips and guacamole?
I’d go anywhere with someone who identifies as guac boy.
Please stop I’m gonna salivate to death
Ok, now do it without mentioning food, food preparation, or eating.
The correct rebuttal to this is to drown them in guac.
Green stuff people like to dip crunchy yellow triangles in.
It’s not a culinary fruit, it’s a culinary vegetable. There’s a botanical classification system, and a different culinary classification system. When describing food it is incorrect to use the botanical classifier.
Other than that, good description
Anyone downvoting this wanna say why? Because I’m correct.
Hah exactly!
And it’s green
Thank you, Scotty.