When I can’t find something in the house after searching for a few minutes, I make a conscious decision to give up and take another approach - go buy the missing tool again, use a different material, whatever. The point is to decide it doesn’t matter where the thing is. Most of the time I immediately look right at whatever I was looking for - as in within a few seconds. Family members are used to hearing me say out loud, “I’m just gonna go to Tru-Value and get another - Oh, here it is!” It works that fast and is very reliable.

My theory about this is that part of my brain knows where the item is all along, but enjoys the treasure hunt and won’t let the information come to the conscious level. But once I sincerely decide to give up the search - it has to be a genuine decision, there’s no faking it - that part of my brain knows the game is over and reveals where the thing is. But who knows, I’m no psychologist.

Being nice to people. You come out of interactions feeling better, and you often get more out of people by being nice.

If you notice something needs to be done and the task takes less than five minutes, just do it.

Amphetamines

Do only as much as I feel like. Don’t feel like making dinner, but i’m ok just setting out the ingredients. OK, now I’m fine with just chopping vegetables. Now I’m fine just making the sauce. It only works if you genuinely allow yourself to stop at any point. If I have to stop after the sauce, everything goes into the fridge and I finish making the meal tomorrow.

After I come home from work, I want to be a solid lump of nothing. Instead to trick myself when I have tasks I need to do, I keep my work clothes on (including shoes) and it helps trick my brain that the tasks are just a continuation of my work day.

When I think of something that happened during the day that was cringeworthy I tell myself, “You are so stupid!!”

When I catch myself doing that I now stop and say to myself, “No you’re not.”

Oddly, this derails the shame spiral and allows me to stay positive.

When something bad or annoying happens to me and I’m in a shitty mood, I say (out loud or whisper to myself) “This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to anybody!” and I usually instantly get over myself

I’ve always had a very active sense of humor, and am usually able to find something funny about virtually anything.

I’m not suggesting going around giggling inappropriately at whatever happens to be in front of you like the Joaquin Phoenix Joker, but I know being able to find something that amuses me about even the darkest, most difficult stuff in life has been of immense help to me personally.

No screen time first and last half hour of the day, it makes a huge difference.

Also, my phone is far away from me when I go to sleep, though that one is preference but it does help to not think about things I could search online

Think in softer language. Things you “should” do, or things that are “duties” might not give you the internal reward you deserve for accomplishing them, and almost certainly cause more mental suffering than you deserve. You can still recognize good (or at least better) decisions and goals, but using softer language makes it easier to give yourself grace for not having the strength to try, the recognition of effort when you try but fail, and the appreciation when you actually succeed.

Honestly, I think that helps me more than anything else my therapist ever suggested. Though maybe not as much as the prescription I received from my provider. My worst days are when I forget to apply that.

smile, show up and act like you belong. even if you don’t people will assume you do. if you want to join in, all you need to do is find the right person to ask.

i joined my first professional band that way. looked up [specific genre] bands in my area, found a few, looked up which one was the best, called up the director, showed up to practice, auditioned in and was their new [let’s pretend i play upright bass. i actually do, but last time i played one a tuning peg flew across the damn room. i also suck at it. so i was not playing upright bass with them] specialist. favorite band i ever played with.

it’s one of those “walk in and give a firm handshake and you’ll get a job” bullshit advice things. I had good timing, they were looking for someone who specialized in what i do (they had a specialist who moved away a year prior and they were noticing the difference) but they were the only ones i’ve played with that did all the frills and trills.

I have a personal motivational tool I call “dopamine starve and reward”. Basically avoiding things that give a false feeling of accomplishment and allowing myself to feel good when something has been accomplished. It’s handy for big projects around the house. Number one is to not talk about what I plan to do (starve) until I’ve actually taken a big step (reward). Another is to not buy everything i need right off the bat (starve) instead buying materials as I need them (reward). This notion came to me after working for a small family business. The owners would have a project in mind, go buy all the materials, drop them off then go have lunch at the bar and talk about all the stuff they were going to do. Then nothing would get done. I saw this in myself and learned to avoid false feelings of accomplishment

Pain is just weakness leaving the body, so stabbing oneself in the arm with a fork does wonders

I don’t know if this is cheat code or not but I try to be kind to the people above me, like my seniors, my teachers (not my parents though). Acting politely, trying to appreciate their work, seems to leave a good impression. It helped me in little tasks but I have yet to see how much it works further.