One thing that helped me relax when learning to drive: 99% of the time you only need to worry about what’s directly in front of you. Unless you’re changing lanes or backing up that’s your main priority. Yeah it’s good to be a defensive driver and anticipate things and that will come with time. Don’t be overstimulated by every detail around you, know what to focus on. I hope this helps you relax like it did me

And I hate automatic. After a few weeks or months, you won’t even realize there’s a clutch or shift. It’s actually easier, as with automatics I have to actually look at it to determine which gear I am in, eg. reverse or drive.

Manual transmissions are operated almost entirely by “feel”. Once that sinks in, it’s a lot easier.

If you can, go find a quiet street, parking lot, or any place with an incline. Practice stopping in the middle of the incline and taking off without stalling. Don’t stress out when you inevitably stall. You will and that’s ok. If you can master starting on a hill, you’ll find that the rest of it comes a lot easier.

With the transmision in 1st and your foot on the brake, release the clutch very slowly until the engine starts dragging just a little. Slowly take your foot off the brake. You’ll know the clutch is in the right spot if it keeps you from rolling backwards. At that point, start to accelerate and let the clutch out slowly. Continue to accelerate and up the hill you go.

Don’t hesitate to hit the brakes at any time if you feel like you’re going to roll backwards. Better to stall than to roll back into someone behind you. Depending on the gearing, you may be able to start in 2nd and that will keep you from having to worry about shifting in the middle of the hill.

Don’t panic. Learning is good. If someone gets upset with you because you’re inexperienced and stall out then screw them. They should try to remember what it was like to learn how to drive. It just takes practice, practice, and more practice.

I remember that feeling. It goes by with experience. I love driving and I’d never buy an automatic as long as there’s a manual alternative.

It scared the hell out of me too, but soon it’ll be just like walking. When you were first learning to walk, you fell down a lot, and although most of us don’t remember it, you were probably reluctant to try again after falling. But you kept trying and it became second nature. Keep practicing and soon you’ll be singing along with the radio, eating a burrito and sending texts while merging across 6 lanes of traffic without even thinking about it.

Ok, maybe don’t do ALL those things. Just stick with it!

A good way to learn the friction point of a clutch is to find some flat ground (somewhere you can practice and not worry about traffic or pedestrians) and come to a complete stop.

Put the car into first gear and without touching the accelerator or brake, very, very slowly bring the clutch pedal up. You’ll feel the engine begin to bog down the further the pedal comes off the floor. Push the clutch back down and repeat until you feel comfortable with where the clutch is “catching”.

Once you can reliably find this spot in the clutch pedal’s travel, begin adding in some throttle to help you take off a little quicker.

I’ve taught others to drive manual and this is a good way to build the muscle memory that helps when driving on the road so you don’t have to think about it.

Maybe that helps but either way good luck on your journey!

With enough practice, driving becomes second nature to the point that you don’t really think about it. This goes triple for manual transmission cars because you have so much control over the behaviour of the vehicle that it almost feels.like.an extension of yourself. The learning curve is a pain but the payoff is worth it.

being too soft or too rough on the clutch is a matter of millimeters is ridiculous

On this point specifically, don’t think of it as millimetres of distance. You act based on how the car responds, not trying to hit a specific distance of pedal movement. You already do the same thing with your other foot - you don’t think “I need to press the accelerator down 55 mm”, you just press it a bit more or a bit less until the car is going the speed you want it to go at. Same deal with the clutch, there just isn’t a dial on the dashboard that tells you where you currently have it.

You’re right that driving involves processing a lot of information at once that nobody is particularly familiar with absorbing when they start. It is difficult and dangerous. That’s why there are tests and licences. But in much the same way that typing was once completely alien to you and is now something you do with little active thought, you’ll get there soon enough with the clutch too. And if you learn it now, you’ll never be caught out in a situation when there isn’t an automatic option available

As with most things, it gets easier with practice. After enough practice, you’ll find many of the actions and reactions of driving will become habits you do automatically. Which is one of the reasons it’s a good idea to practice good habits now, as practice makes permanent. Take your time, and try to be predictable to other drivers (use your signals, don’t make radical maneuvers). And don’t let the assholes who think the horn is an “I’m annoyed at you” button get to you. Fuck them and the camel that came on them. Take your time and make sure you are driving your car in a way you can control.

As for learning on a manual, yes that increases the difficulty. Depending on the specific vehicle, it can make it easier or harder. Some clutches will let you get away with murder, others will murder you for being less than perfect. Many years ago, my brother owned a car with a clutch that was just brutal. It would go from “not engaging” to “fully engaged” within the slightest movement. My truck, on the other hand, the clutch was so forgiving, you damn near couldn’t stall it. Thankfully, I learned to drive a stick on my truck and when I tried my brother’s car, it took a lot less time to get used to it. As above, take your time and it will come to you with practice.

At the risk of sounding negative - if driving a car is too hard for you, maybe you shouldn’t. You’re going to be piloting a 4000 pound boulder down the road. Would you really be okay killing someone by accident?

We live in an age of Ubers & Lyfts. Taxis have never been cheaper nor more convenient. Being car free is totally possible.

Regardless, I would still encourage you to finish your studies and get your driver’s license, if only because it’s the one form of ID every adult is expected to have.

It definitely gets easier in my experience. A lot of the things that take conscious effort right now are going to become reflexes and automatisms with more experience. Right now you are building that experience, and there isn’t really a way to speed it up. You just need to do each action dozens and hundreds of times, until you do it without thinking.

Driving a manual car, for example, is definitely more complex than an automatic one. You literally need to manage one more thing. But do not worry about it, you will change gears a lot during your practice sessions and build a lot of experience quickly. In a few months you will probably not think much about gears, and in a few years you will be managing them without giving it a single thought.

Fun anecdote, I recently got a new car and it is an automatic one while I previously only drove manuals. For a few days I couldn’t figure out how to start smoothly, and I was very confused… until I realized that starting mostly involved the clutch on my previous car. The first movements of my right foot used to be to keep the rpm under control while disengaging the clutch, which is just not needed on an automatic car. I was simply applying the same muscle memory to the new car without realizing it!

Dunno what the laws are like where you live but might be worth doing some lessons with a friend on quieter country roads to get more practice with the clutch if possible.

I love manual driving! Sure it didn’t go super smooth when I first started, but after 2 years, I don’t even realize I’m shifting automatically. But it might be me that I want to have control over my car, rather than it driving for me.

Your trouble with the clutch and watching the road, that will definitely get easier with practice.

But what always remains stressful is that lots of drivers are insane cunts. As in, they should be in a psychiatry. They’ll tailgate you, if you have the audacity to drive the speed limit.

And well, other factors can be at play. I’ve probably got some flavor of autism, so having everything around me rattle and explode, and needing to constantly pay attention to the road, that stresses me out due to sensory overload. Even after multiple years of practice, I’m more than glad to walk to the shops.

Omg, stop whining. Do or do not, there is no try. If you don’t want to drive, then why are you doing this?

Driving is one of the easiest things you’ll ever do in life (wspeckally with cars built after about 1990).

If learning how to drive is this difficult for you, what are you going to do when something truly difficult comes along?

Being car free is totally possible.

Lol, OK, you do you.