cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/49262051
Customs and Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore told the jury the snack “exploded all over him” and he “could smell the onions and mustard” on his uniform.
Neither side disputes that Sean Dunn, 37, did in fact lob obscenities and a deli-style sandwich at officers deployed by President Donald Trump to patrol the nation’s capital in August. But Mr Dunn’s lawyer argues it was not a criminal act.
The incident was captured on video and went viral, making Mr Dunn a symbol of opposition in Washington DC to Trump.
Government prosecutors initially tried to secure felony charges against Mr Dunn, but a grand jury declined to indict him. Prosecutors have instead charged him with a lower-level misdemeanour assault.
“Customs and Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore told the jury the snack “exploded all over him” and he “could smell the onions and mustard” on his uniform.”
Are we ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN this is not The Onion? Hard to say based on the smell.
Let’s be honest, the only reason he was upset is he didn’t get to eat it.
Totally unrelated: it’d be a real shame if people talked about jury nullification more eh?
big strong cop brought down by a sandwich. He would have really been hurt if someone had thrown a hard roll at him.
There was a time when a man would be ridiculed for bringing a complaint for getting hit by a sandwich.
Man who signed up to a job to humiliate his fellow man, was himself humiliated. Demands justice.
Tit
let me get this straight.
when a cop shoots pepper balls into a crowd, the citizens “walk into the path of” them and it’s the citizens fault.
but when a citizen throws their sandwich into a crowd, it’s not the cops fault for “walking into the path” of his sandwich?
🤔 something ain’t right here…
Obviously this kind lad was just feeding a helpless, hungy cop and tossed the sandwich too enthusiastically.
what are the charges, throwing a succulent sandwich meal?
I’m totally hearing this in Zoidberg’s voice
It was a truculent sandwich meal!
Succulent? I thought it was subway…
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Ok I feel we’re not getting crucial information here. Just onions and mustard? Is that a thing? And if so what kind of mustard?
Stop burying the lead!
its funny how these guys like to advertise like they are kickass then act like the biggest pussies.
The party of family values and fiscal responsibility using any excuse to weaponize the law
So send the protester the agent’s dry cleaning bill and be done with it. Make them pay for a new uniform if the stain can’t be removed. Simple enough. The fact this is a criminal matter is absurd.
Those uniforms are polyester and probably treated with enough teflon/stain block to keep a sharpie from being permanent.
I’ve worn similar hard uniforms (different color, same supplier, probably. There’s only like 3.) and mustard doesn’t take, even if you’re a dolt who lets it set in.
All that to say; there’s no need for him to do more than run it through a normal wash.
Except, the sandwhich is shown still wrapped on the ground afterwards, so it didn’t even explode.
A cop? Lying? I don’t think thats legal. And cops are there to enforce the law…therefore, cops good. Right?
…guys?
Oh come on. It’s my first day on earth, and I’m not yet capable of critical thinking. Therefore, I can only say opinions based on nothing, and argue them as fact. If you argue back, I’ll argue louder! Because as we all know, the loudest opinion is right! And who’s louder than me? I’m an American! We’re known for our being the only place on earth. And therefore everybody is right! Except for the people who argue with me. They’re clearly wrong.
TOAST IS BETTER THAN BREAD!!!
I like toast but I don’t like making toast. I’d like to buy a loaf of toast so then I can just warm it up in the microwave.
I airfry toast
Oh, look at mr fancy pants! With his “air” he can afford to fry! Must be nice to afford all that air…
Heck you, buddy!
Or something…
Heck me??? Fudge to you!
Ok, I was with you until the end. Are you implying toast is inferior to bread!?
clearly witchcraft
Did he tear up while giving his harrowing testimony?
He was seen pouting very hard
I would upvote you, but every time I see this fuckers pucker I want to kick his teeth in.
Understandable, no worries!
At least he wasn’t hit by gravy. Or he would be poutine
Only if he was Kurdish.
Oh yeah, it was an explosion, arms were ripped off and heads went flying… blood just squirted everywhere it… It was a mustard bath… Cue 1000 yard stare
He will round up into a ball crying at the Costco food court the rest of his life.
AND he’s been teased by his coworkers! Oh, the pain and suffering he has had to endure because of this heinous assault by an antifa terrorist! Will it never end?!
I’m sure his coworkers have meat sandwiches exploding at point blank range all the time, too.
Somebody get the luminol and check for fluids in their office…
I sure hope it won’t end, ever.
I hope people call him Jared
Exploded… And the grievous injury of…smelling like mustard and onions for a bit. Man, they are really trying to work that incident.
The video clearly showed an intact, wrapped sandwich on the ground after the incident. Nothing “exploded.” The cop lied on the stand (surprise, surprise), and he got called out on it by the defense.
I’m just going to quit calling them any kind of law enforcement term. They are all just domestic terrorists at this point.
Correct.
Always have been
I’m certainly glad the feds gave up on optics. This should hopefully make for an excellent dark comedy movie once it wraps up (if Sean is aquitted).
I think it would make a good blackbox theater production with the interesting caveat that any theater putting it on has to give tickets out to people for free who agree to have a baguette lightly thrown at them.
Or, hide the bread under a random seat every showing and at the pivotal moment have everyone check under their seat. Whoever has it gets to throw it at the cop.
But if I attend, am I allowed to grab the baguette and eat it?
One of the iron laws of theater is that once a piece of bread touches you as an audience member, you own the bread.
