That adults were intelligent

That the future would be better.

A shame to admit this, but I believed in God until I was 12.

That brain surgeons must make like $20 an hour, since that seemed like a huge amount of money to me. Even though that equates to around $80 today, I was a bit off, since even one that made a relatively modest $700k a year would be making roughly $350 hourly.

i read about black holes in an encyclopedia and how nothing can escape from them when getting too close and thought that they’re a real threat to me in daily life. i’d look around when i was outside making sure that i’m not getting close to any so that i don’t get sucked in. i must have been very good at avoiding them since i never saw one.

the same encyclopedia had a part about human reproduction and showed an illustration of sexual penetration. i thought it looked uncomfortable and wondered why anyone would want to do any of that, and seeing how many people have kids i came to a conclusion that people do it because it’s mandatory and you are required to do it. i was very much not looking forward to the day it’s my turn to have sex, until i realized that you simply just don’t have to.

in kindergarten my mom was talking with the caretaker about a “life-booster” that “wakes her right up”. i interpreted it as it making her wake up because she’s terrified by it. for a week i was living in dread, thinking that this “life-booster” was some kind of malevolent entity that wants to kill me, who might be nearby and watching me. i imagined it as some kind of evil goblin and i checked my room thoroughly every evening to make sure he’s not hiding anywhere so that i’ll survive the night. after a week i realized that they were talking about coffee and that’s the thing that people drink to be more awake and that it makes no sense that there’d be a monster out there that’s looking specifically for me.

We lived by a tiny sea bay, I thought that the place on the other side (despite having been there!) of the water was Sweden.

Before a show would start on PBS, A splash screen would pop up and say “brought to you by X”. I foolishly believed it was saying broughtued by and had no idea what it meant for something to be broughtued.

Neighbour took me out on a dog walk on a hill and to stop me stepping on rabbit shit she told me that was where baby rabbits came from. Took a few years to untangle that in my brain!

I thoughr babies were literally made by kissing.

I’d look at commuters going the opposite way on the road and scoff at them for going the wrong way. Grandma’s house is this way you fools, why are you going the other way?

That everyone secretly wants to be a girl.

That the world is fair, that here’s good and evil, but no shades of grey.

That people in power do it for the good of the people

That things would get better with time.

I thought they killed actors for the scene. Someone just needed to be sacrificed, apparently. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

• Cops are good

• Hard work pays off

• I might own a home someday

• The government isn’t out to get anyone

• People are inherently good

• Drugs are bad