Why the hell do we call it “coconut water” like it’s some holy, saint-blessed hydration straight from God’s urethra? It’s juice. It comes out of a fucking fruit. If it squirted out of an orange we wouldn’t sit there pretending it’s “orange water.” But no, slap “water” on the label. It’s not magical glacier piss. It’s coconut juice. Stop jerking off the branding like it’s some enlightened nectar for smug wellness cultists.
Not near as big of a sin as “vitamin water” calling itself water.
It’s called coconut water because it’s been called that for hundreds of years. It’s notified something newly created by corporate eggheads. They are just capitalizing on what is already out there.
I didn’t know coconut water was a thing until now, was only aware of coconut milk.
Finally somebody is taking on Big Nut Water
Is not juice because you don’t squeeze the coconut. Sorry, pal.
You squeeze the lime in the coconut.
…and drink it all up.
Then you call the doctor, wake him up!
And say “doctor doctor… gimme the news. I got a bad case of loving two.”
You’re such a silly woman!
It also lacks the sugar content characteristic of juice
squeezing is just pressure applied not in an instant, some can squeeze a coconut until it breaks, many even use machines to squeeze them
First you break the coconut to get the water (pressing it slowly if you want, some people make a hole), next, also if you want, you can squeeze the pulp to get some oil.
Dont forget about squeezing the teet to get coconut milk.
since we live in a corporate world people will most likely chase profit and try to extract oil, thus finally coming to squeezing thus my point still stands
Oil is also juice now? What else do you think is juice?
I squeeze blood to different parts of my body, that must be juice too!
dick juice
Not really, mainly due to how the liquid is stored.
I generally think that juice is within the flesh of the fruit that needs to be squeezed out. I can’t drill a hole in a watermelon to drink watermelon juice, but I can drill a hole in a coconut and drink the coconut water.
Nah. I’m gonna start calling juice water. Apple water. Orange water. Grape water. Tomato water.
Also, why do you associate water with holiness and gods?
To me, “orange water” is a pitcher of water that has some orange slices chilling in it for a bit of flavor. “Juice” is the stuff results from squeezing a fruit or vegetable to expel its liquid.
I call all of it “sugar water” so that my kids know the two main ingredients.
“Everybody knows grape is a fruit! Why you gotta say it weird?”
good job peddling corporate propaganda
Lol, wut?
Coconut cum
The juice from a coconut is mostly water. We also call watermelon watermelon and that is more juice like than coconut water. They should be called juicemelons. 🤷♂️
It’s called coconut milk in Finnish.
Also, this seems more like a rant than a question.
edit: My bad, it’s actually called water in finnish too. Everyone just refers to it as milk in everyday speech.
Are you suggesting coconuts lactate???
No, but an African or European shrew could lactate into a coconut for storage purposes.
I considered making a “Meet the Parents” reference, but I’m not happy with what I’ve come up with.
Well, what the hell.
“I have nuts, Greg. Can you milk me?”
Proceeds to violently milk his prostate. “Now what do you call that white shit that came out of you Jack‽”
They are hairier than many mammals.
Coconut milk is different than coconut water. Coconut milk they make from the flesh of the coconut, squeeze it or whatever, the water is flioating as is inside the coconut. They sell the coconut milk in cans for cooking stuff, and it’s white like milk sort of, coconut water is clear-ish.
Coconut milk is something different than coconut water.
Coconut milk is white, coconut water is clear.Yeah there’s coconut water, coconut milk, and coconut cream. Totally different!
Also you can tap their blossoms for nectar, and make alcohol out of it, or just drink it.
it’s definitely not milk
I’ve never thought about that but I’m going to come up with a reason.
I’ll say it is water because it can be just poured from inside the coconut, you just need to poke a hole.
“Just poking a hole” is easier said than done, it’s a very difficult thing to get through. A cordless drill would do it, or a brace, a hand drill. But good luck with a pocket knife or something in the field trying to get in one. You could smash it and get a fraction of the water as it spills out.
it should be labeled as sooo high in potassium that it kills dogs.
The people saying that coconut-milk is different from coconut-cream is different from coconut-water are right, btw.
https://nativepet.com/blogs/health/can-dogs-drink-coconut-water
Potassium-overdose is the standard method for inducing heart-stop, ie in executions in China, & in other cases where medical-heart-stop is required.
Dogs’re small, & so the potassium-concentration in coconut-water is more proportional to their entire-bodymass than it would be for the same size drink compared with a human drinking it.
their metabolism’s hotter, too,
& there’s an entire chemical-family ( which is represented in chocolate, alcoholic-drinks, etc ) which is lethal to many animals but not to us ( dogs, parrots, can’t remember if cats, etc. )
_ /\ _
Why? We don’t label anything else that can kill dogs. Just don’t give human food to your dog without at least double checking that it’s safe.
It’s really hard to overdose on potassium from foods for a human so it’s not really a concern for us unless there’s some sort of complication.
Too much potassium is a problem with some people, I know someone whose tests showed too much and they called up and insisted he rush down to the hospital.
We don’t label anything else that can kill dogs. Just don’t give human food to your dog
Might maybe be a good idea to start. (And cats as well, as the other most common housepet.)
And as for ‘just don’t give it to them’ … well, sometimes dogs get into things they’re not supposed to. It might be good to have things that are dangerous to dogs labeled so that you quickly and easily know which foods need to be extra protected to make extra-sure your dog can’t get into them.
(Then again, I expect a lot of corporate resistance to this. Because stupid people will see the ‘this may be dangerous to dogs’ label and think, “Wow, if it’s bad for dogs, it must be bad for me as well!” and they won’t buy it. Or they won’t buy it because they don’t want anything dangerous to their precious pooch to even be in the house at all. So forcing companies to have that label will probably result in reduced sales for those companies. Which means reduced profits, which means they’ll fight hard against any requirement to label their products this way.)
It’s absolutely disgusting and shouldn’t be called anything other than ‘trash’.
I tried it once, and never got past one little sip. Definitely in my top 5 of ‘worst things I’ve ever put in my mouth’.
