even one bite makes gives me such an insane stomach pain and nausea that I’m crying in my bed for three days. and it’s not stomach cramps, it just feels like my entire belly will explode and nothing comes out. years ago i could eat them just fine, but now it’s also pears and berries…
you forgot
- delicious
They’ll be gone in 10-15 years? The current popular version anyway. A fungi is destroying them.
It happened before back in the fifties with the last version. Except there’s nothing really close this time. The other types of bananas aren’t close at all
ooh so that’s what that is
i heard an old man mysteriously whisper “enjoy your bananas while they still exist, young person” to me at the supermarket a while ago and i didn’t know what they were talking about but they sounded very serious so i didn’t doubt them.
That old version “Gros Michel” is what artificial banana flavour is based on. Bananas used to taste like that. The newer “Cavendish” variety is firmer and lasts longer, but doesn’t have the same flavour. It seems like both are being wiped out by disease though, yay monoculture.
Cavendish seem to be especially vulnerable because they’re all clones. They don’t produce viable seeds, so they’re grafted to new plants.
Are you an AI?
Nope, all dirty fleshbag. I just like knowing things and hope others do too. :)
autism for the win yeah :)
Gros Michel and many other bananas are clones, too. So are apples.
Not all apples, but many. Including Macintosh, which was found along a road and could never produce viable seeds. There were only three trees for like 30 years before people noticed that they tasted rather good. All Macintosh apples today are grafts of the one surviving tree.
Maybe, but they are right (AI or fleshbag). I love artificial banana flavour way more then the current banana and have dived deep into the madness that is the banana industry. We are eating lies when we could have been eating Gros Michels if only greed did not prevail.
god no do not bring back Gros Michels, artificial banana flavour is bleh
i suppose soon we’ll have to compromise and start liking (or not) a new banana flavour though, if that banana disease gets to the current version
The banana republics? The monoculture? The fact the ones in supermarket taste bland and it costs and arm and leg if you want one that tastes good?
Take your pick
people don’t like eating the brown part (which is still edible) causing food waste
Bananas are way overrated. Not nearly as much potassium as potatoes. As far as fruits go, they are lower fiber, high sugar (aka the not good kind of carbs).
And you know how they turn brown quickly after being exposed to air? That process virtually eliminates the absorption of any sources of antioxidants that it might be mixed with. Like adding bananas to your smoothies? If you were hoping for health benefits, you just wasted your money.
Red bananas are great for oven baked fries too
Big Banana Energy.
And yet supermarkets wrap them in plastic on a polystyrene tray…
That’s counterproductive in terms of shelf life, and just plain gross. If your market does this, vote with your wallet and go somewhere else.
Not mine specifically, but I’ve seen pictures online. It’s a complete garbage move and yeah, plain gross!
Ooh, banana!
Kong! Kong! Don-key Kong!
A bad thing about bananas is that they look like Homer Simpson’s penis
Mmmmmm, forbidden penis.
Btw, you spelt good incorrectly.
Bananas are a monoculture. One good, hard hitting, lethal pathogen could extinct them.
There are SO MANY bananas, but most people have only eaten the Cavendish. Awhile back, I got a box of assorted bananas from a farm that specializes in growing unusual fruit. I ate about twenty pounds of bananas in three weeks. So many fucking nanners spread across my entire kitchen countertop for weeks, ripening in stages.
My life has been a lie. Yours too. We’ve all been hoodwinked. We are getting fucked, and not in the good way, because Cavendish is a straight up garbage fruit. There are tiny tart toothsome Thai bananas, chunky Cuban, alluring Apple, beauteous burro, pleasurably plump Pisang, orally outstanding orinoco, mouthwatering Mysore, and the gustatorily magnificent Gros Michel, the OG mass production bananer, which was replaced by Cavendish in a mycological midlife crisis (I’m drunk and if I was a dinosaur, I’d be a tiny tenacious thesaurus tenuisi). Plus more. So many more. Fucking. Bananas.
They all taste like bananas, but each is a little different, some more than others, but they all had more taste that those Cavendish fuckers. So get fucked Chiquita, Dole, and Del Monte. My banana bread sucks because of y’all.
Wake up babe, new copypasta just dropped 🍌
What is your favorite banana and how do I get it?
Goat banana post
But banana tastes like crap. Give me one that doesn’t taste like a banana.
So get this. Have you ever had Runts candy? If you or any other readers have, then you’ve likely noted that the banana candy just doesn’t taste right. That’s because it’s based on the original mass production banana, the Gros Michel, AKA the “Big Mike”. That’s a proper banana. Cavendish is shit but it’s the only type most people have eaten. They’ve eaten shit. Banana shit.
The following may not apply to you but may for others:
Saying you hate bananas when you have only tried cavendish is like saying you hate beer when you’ve only tried warm, flat Keystone Light.
I was told a story of a chef I knew about a small, purple banana that tastes like vanilla.
Did they say that the chef made them close their eyes before tasting it?
Isn’t monoculture a plantation where you grow only one crop? At least in my language it is. But bananas are a genetic clone of their mother plant. That means all plants of one cultivar are n-tuplets, if I remember correctly.
…again.
Just like rubber trees.
I’m in the clemantine camp
Nothing beats that time when Kirk Cameron & Ray Comfort were praising God about the brilliant design of bananas.
The atheist’s nightmare! If they weren’t genetically engineered, that is.
The smarmy arrogant ignorance dripping from that video is both hilarious and enraging.
My lord I remember laughing my ass off at that video years ago haha
Except for there is like a 1 hour window when they taste really good and have a good texture. In between when they’re green and taste like chalk and when they’re full yellow and taste like mushy baby food.
Right in that 1 hour window? Delicious.
*Avocados have entered the chat*
I don’t know what the deal is with people who say that. They’re good for several days, and they even have a very convenient method for showing you whether they’re good or not. You don’t really need bananas to last more than a few days, because by then, they’re all eaten.
This is so true, it’s such a small window of being perfect. Meanwhile oranges are just chilling.
I met someone that likes it a little green and not soft. We don’t talk anymore. /S
Sounds like mofongo which is fucking delicious!
